Posted by: Scott | Monday, December 5, 2005

The Future of Christma–ummm, Holiday Cards

Merry/happy/blessed Chrisma-kwan-ramad-ukah!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my
best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially re-
sponsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, cele-
bration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the
most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of
your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect
for the religious persuasions and/or traditions of others, or
their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling,
and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the
generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due
respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great (not
to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other
country or is the only ‘AMERICA’ in the Western Hemisphere)
and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical
ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

  • This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
  • It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
  • It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any
    of the wishes for her/himself or others.
  • This wish is void where prohibited by law.
  • It is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the
usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or
until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish
or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Happy Holidays.

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