Posted by: Scott | Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Do-It-Yourself Impressive Theological Constructs

The InboxI'm not sure where I got this (that is, who sent it to me, pointed it out, etc…), but it sure is fun to use when you have to create test threads for the forum director (under a lot of stress) of a large fundamental blog/forum

Do-It-Yourself Impressive Theological Constructs

Compose 10,000 impressive sentences. Select a phrase from each column to form statements which sound profound.

Column A Column B Column C Column D
1 A formal analysis will quickly show that the meaning of major elements is further compounded by considering the relevant dynamics of Luke-Acts.
2 From an exegetical point of view the linguistic consideration imposes smothering constraints upon the ramifications of consensus-building
3 Although Moltmann does not state it in so many words, the implication a structural dynamic analysis necessitates that urgent consideration be made of the clarity of the sociological dimensions.
4 There can be no doubt that the eschatological structure adds considerable urgency to the unfortunate faux-pas of neo-orthodoxy.
5 Based upon interdisciplinary considerations the homoletic problem calls into question any attempt to introduce historical analysis.
6 In the last analysis the liturgical perspective must give way to an emphasis on dogmatics.
7 From a strictly theological view point the introduction of gnosticism orients the serious scholar toward undue reliance on derivative materials.
8 Most scholars seem to have forgotten that the underlying question provokes an examination of global perspectives.
9 Under the guise of liberalism an ahistorical stance tends toward excessive use of the 19th century frameworks.
0 One might say a need to master the data drives us to consider a soteriological point of view.

Those who have not yet mastered theological conversation will find this guide invaluable in conversing with peers and authorities. Simply think of any 4-digit number (say, 6518) and read off the similarly numbered phrases from columns A, B, C, and D. (For example, 6518 is "In the last analysis, the homiletic problem is further compounded by considering global perspectives.") Never mind what it means; just use it and watch the way you bring conversation to a halt. You can compose profound reports by using varied number combinations. As you become more proficient in its use, you may wish to experiment with varying the column sequence, e.g. , BACD, CBAD, etc. These advanced configurations are not recommended for beginners, however, requiring as they do sophisticated dexterity with punctuation.



  1. This is really good. I am going to have to try this when I preach and have no idea what I am talking about.

  2. There can be no doubt that the homoletic problem is further compounded by considering the ramifications of consensus-building

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