Posted by: Scott | Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Adoptive Is Better

Rush expounded on this today. I can’t not talk about it. Adoption is something that is obviously dear to me and my family. Before I start, I intend no disrespect for biological parents. I know a great many wonderful biological parents that take their calling seriously.

Indiana University released a study yesterday that shows adoptive parents are better at parenting than biological parents. Like alluded earlier, this caught my attention on the Rush Limbaugh show today If you don’t know, I am an adoptee and I love parents to pieces. I know my birth mom and we enjoy a great relationship.

Adoptive parents invest more time and financial resources in their children compared with biological parents, according to the results of a national study that challenges the more conventional view — emphasized in legal and scholarly debates — that children are better off with their biological parents.

The study, by sociologists at Indiana University Bloomington and the University of Connecticut, found that two-parent adoptive parents not only spend more money on their children, but they invest more time, such as reading to them, talking with their children about their problems or eating meals together.

“Society often tells people that adoption isn’t normal,” said IUB Professor Brian Powell, who focuses on the sociology of the family. “When people make the decision that they want to have children and then use unusual means to have them, they compensate for the barriers.”

It goes on to say,

The authors wrote that “recent court cases regarding same-sex marriage cite this body of research as evidence of the superiority of biological parenthood and, in turn, as a compelling rationale for the current legal definitions of marriage.” The article specifically cites two court cases in Washington and New York states that rely on this rationale: Andersen v. King County, which upheld a state law banning same-sex marriage; and Seymour v. Holcomb, where a same-sex marriage ban also was upheld.

I would love to see the opening paragraph changed slightly:

Adoptive parents invest more time and financial resources in their children compared with biological parents, according to the results of a national study that challenges the more liberal view — emphasized in legal and scholarly debates — that women made pregnant by rape, incest, or at an inconvenient time in life (single in school, etc…), are better off having an abortion.

But anyway, lets presume that the article and study have good intentions and are not politically bent on promoting non-traditional adoption arrangements (i.e. homosexual couples adopting). We know that the study won’t come out and slam abortion, because after all, it’s a woman’s choice, that’s why I did the edit above. It is an interesting article that at least says adoption can be a good thing and not all adoptive parents are evil.

Are all adoptions perfect? No. I won’t even say that mine is perfect, but God gave me a great deal! This study does have some problems, many were pointed out by Rush. Does this mean that every child conceived will have to be adopted? I hope not! I would love to be married some day and have a combination of kids that are biologically mine and my wife’s and adopted.

This got me to thinking about a discussion after Bible Study last night. A young man was talking about how he is going to be old here pretty soon when he turns that wonderful male age of 25. He feared this because he was still single and reaching 25. I’ve been there. Now I’m nearing 27 and still single, so I feel reeeeeeeeealy old!

I didn’t catch the entirety of the discussion, but somehow or another, adoption came up (presumably talking about future children). Apparently the bridge was missed, because the question was then raised, “How does one adopt a wife???”

I got to thinking that could be a fun way of getting married: adopt a wife. I can see the website now promoting the adopt-a-wife program. Maybe even legislation where you get a tax break for adopting a wife. Think of the registry; ladies looking to be adopted into wifehood and men looking to adopt such a one. Of course there would be the whole match-making process to go through, parental discussion, counsel, etc, but it could be quite the program.

So, all you godly, Christian single ladies out there, talk to your folks about the possibility of being adopted. I can only accept one, so please allow for time to sort through the applications.

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Responses

  1. That study does not surprise me at all. When you read all the stories of couples who desperately want kids and work so hard to adopt them … no wonder they’re awesome parents! Then, on the other side of the coin, there’s the 15 yo girl who’s on the “Maury Povich” show with the title, ‘I’m in 9th grade and I want to have a baby!’ And you know what, she probably will. ——- ack, maybe you should ignore my cynicism. Imagine being *29* (gasp!) and still single on Valentine’s day! 🙂

    God is good, ALL THE TIME.

  2. Absolutely right. My parents wanted me to have at least a sibling (despite my child-like protests), but the Colorado law at that time (1980’s) wouldn’t allow it. I was healthy, no physical or mental handicaps, etc… Thus, they were limited to me. According to the state, they didn’t need any more kids (since I was going to statistically be able to live a normal, healthy life).

    The 15 yo on Maury needs something more than 15 seconds of fame that’s for sure.

    So, Jennifer, what tips do you have for surviving 27, 28, and (after today) 29 and still single on V-Day? I would have thrown in 26, but my 26th V-Day is over half gone (unless you count the church V-Day banquet coming on Friday–BTW, not my 26th–that I will be going to single as a slice of cheese).

    In all honesty, I had not thought of 2-14-07 being the day after this blog posting when I typed out the adopt-a-wife portion. And for preemptive clarification, on the adopt-a-wife program, I did say single women. I have no intention of promoting or condoning the stealing of another man’s wife.

  3. Hi, I just found your blog through Tieki Rae’s.

    Thanks for sharing that story; I hadn’t heard about the study.

    I was adopted 43 years ago (10 years and a day before Roe v Wade – whew!) by a good set of Christian parents.

    Did everything go perfectly in life? Of course not. Everyone has issues to deal with. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

    Kudos to you for the Christian worldview and the search for a wife. Hopefully you’ll adopt one soon and have plenty o’ kids. You are a little old for my daughters, but we’ve been praying for a long time that there are Godly parents out there raising some great young men.

  4. To be honest, the second I hit “submit” on that comment I regretted it, because I knew it made me sound like a bitter old maid. The key to sanity during singleness has been to enjoy my free, unstructured time. And lack of planned meals — nobody cares if I eat cereal for supper again. And surround myself with animals, to get a starter on that whole “crazy lady with 22 cats” thing.

  5. Uh oh – I eat cereal for dinner several nights a week – is that a bad thing?! I think everyone should eat more cereal.

  6. Jennifer, Your God is Good comment must have counteracted any “bitter old maid” punch that you might have inadvertently conveyed. Thanks for sharing your key to singleness sanity. I must say that I am good at the unplanned meals. I haven’t had cereal for supper since I was a kid. Of course, I don’t remember when supper is anymore. That happens when you work overnights and mornings.

    Neil,
    Thanks for stopping by and sharing a portion of your adopted life. It is always a blessing to meet new (to me) adoptees and adopters.

    I’m sure there is a special lady out there somewhere. I just don’t know where yet (or maybe I do know where and I just don’t realize it yet). At any rate, I know there is much prayer going into the quest (Mom and Dad, Grandma, extended family, “her” and her family…)


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