Posted by: Scott | Sunday, May 20, 2007

I Feel Old (Again)

A couple of the youths from church recently completed high school. In honor of their achievement, an open house was held (they’re cousins, so sharing the occasion was convenient).

Anyway, it wasn’t until I got there that I got to thinking how old I feel. It was nine years ago that I graduated high school. When I mentioned that to Mom, she “reminded” me that I was still single. As if I could forget… Now the thoughts go forward in time to that wonderful, hypothetical 10 year class reunion (all five of us). How odd that would be, being 20 percent of the class and the only one still single.

So, for all you math fanatics out there, here’s one to figure out:

  • 5 students graduated in 1998
  • 20% of the class is single
  • 80% of the class is married
  • 100% of the female portion of the class is married
  • 100% of the male portion of the class is single
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Responses

  1. Out of my massive class of seven (ABA Mustangs rule!), five of us are married and two are single. One just got married last month. She and the other girl are both wonderful people and should have been married ages ago. Why a guy didn’t snap them up immediately is baffling. So the moral of the story is, it’s all God’s timing, not necessarily your “worthiness.” Ah, I’ve just now noticed I’m rambling here, and apparently preaching to myself. ๐Ÿ™‚ I had my 10 year reunion last year, and the weird thing was it *doesn’t* seem weird for my classmates to have kids. It feels totally normal. *That’s* how I know I’m growing up.

  2. So let me see if I got this right: you make up half of “she and the other girl”??? Or is it that out of the two singles, one just got married, leaving one single, and thus “the other girl” is you, meaning you’re in the same situation that I am.

    I think I just got myself confused (which is not at all rare).

    As for the preaching to one’s self (as you state that you are), you’re also preaching to me too (or if that is uncomfortable, reminding me of a very important principle that I have to remind myself of often). Thanks for the reminder.

  3. Hey, Scott. Don’t feel bad about being single, and try not to feel the pressure… It really is all about God’s perfect timing, and you can’t look around at where everyone else is along their life’s path to guage where you think you should be. I could do the same thing… I was the last of the girls in our class to get married, and I think I’m also the only one without kids. In fact, most of my friends everywhere have kids! A lot of well meaning friends and family give us pressure–Maybe for you the pressure is “Why are you single? It’s time to find a nice girl and settle down.” For me the pressure is “When are you going to have kids? You’ve been married for long enough now.” I guess what I’m trying to say is in every walk of life there is pressure to move on to the next stage, whatever that maybe. Sometimes the pressure comes from misguided people who love us and want the best for us, and sometimes the pressure comes from within–the tension between our own desire for right now and the reality of what God has for us right now. Maybe I’m projecting too much of my own thoughts onto you, I don’t know. This comment is intended to be an encouragement to you. If I’ve failed, I’m sorry. Ultimately, the Lord will send you the right one at the right time, and it will be God’s best. Take heart!

    PS Are you volunteering to be the planning committee for our 10 year reunion? ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. BTW, I’m not sure what’s wrong with my blog.

  5. Ruth, your comment is an encouragement. Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, concern, etc..

    Ironically, the original intent of the post was not about how single I am, but rather how old I feel. Bu t then, I have an amazing ability to turn posts that have nothing to do with marital status and make that the focus. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I think a big part of the pressure I feel is somewhat self-generated as an only child. Even of the cousins on my dad’s side of the family, I am the only one that has the family name (not to say that there are no extended family (second cousins and once-removeds, etc…) members to bear the name, just the particular portion of the family. I really try not to have a pity party about it all the time (although many are thinking by my posts, Yea, right). When I do bring it up, I try to bring it up in a light-hearted way (though it may not always be inferred as such).

    Anyways, thanks again, Ruth and Jennifer, for your encouraging words.

    Re: 10 year reunion, I have been thinking for some time that perhaps an official blog should be started. Then it’s just a matter of getting the others made aware of it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Re: your blog (for those wondering what is being talked about): I think it was one of those random wordpress quirks that set out to make my comment look way off topic, forcing me to post a follow up comment to explain why I said what I said where I said it. ๐Ÿ˜€

    OK, time to go get some sleep so I can have dinner with my college family.

  6. Scott, I definitely don’t think you have a pity party every week. In fact I think you have a good perspective on singleness. You seem to be very content. And Ruth, I like your thoughts too. I have to admit I find myself thinking the same thing about some of my friends who’ve been married for five or so years. I’m thinking, why aren’t you guys poppping out kids yet? But you know what, I am so glad I’ve never verbalized that to them. It’s none of my business.

    MOst of the time I have a good attitude about being single, but sometimes it just slams you in the face, like when couples get mushy in church (arm around the shoulder OK. backrubs? save it for home!). That makes me so uncomfortable and I sometimes change seats. Sometimes being single stinks. But the older I get, the more I can say, God, I am so grateful you didn’t let me get married right out of college like so many of my classmates did. That would have been a huge mistake for both me and the guy! I have worked through a lot of things since I was 22. I am developing a much stabler foundation for a marriage as I get older and grow (emotionally and spiritually).

  7. Scott, I didn’t really get the impression that you were having a pity party, so don’t worry about that.

  8. Yay! Two for two inferring no pity party on my part! I appreciate your votes of confidence. Of course I can already see the conspiracy theorists forming Ideas that Ruth and Jennifer are trying to bump Teddy Roosevelt of the “most read” list ๐Ÿ™‚

    Jennifer, I hear ya’ on the “slammed in the face” sentiment. At the same time, I can see where God has worked on me to be a better husband (to whoever she ends up being) someday. than if I were to have the knot tied a few years back.

  9. [โ€ฆ]Itโ€™s Ruthโ€™s fault. She brought up the idea of a ten year reunion which only cemented the idea of starting a class of โ€˜98 blog, so here [โ€ฆ]
    Edited by Scott so that it didnโ€™t look like it was Ruthโ€™s fault that we became Seniors 10 years ago


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