Posted by: Scott | Tuesday, April 1, 2008

You Won’t Believe This, but…

All schools are closed today. Actually, not today, but in a few days. In an under-reported news item, the President signed an executive order that accomplished three tasks:

  1. February now has 30 days every year, except in leap years when it will have 31. Since most even-numbered months have 30 days, the President thought it best to be consistent, plus he really has it in for the calendar industry for making all those calendars that count down to his last day in office in January of 2009. Since the leap year can’t be gotten rid of, every four years, February will still have an extra day. An adviser close to the   situation said that the Supreme Court would surely strike down any attempt to get rid of the 29th day of February, which is now the 31st of February, as a violation of Campaign Finance Reform laws that Presumptive Republican Presidential Nominee Sen. John McCain (R [sometimes]-AZ) spearheaded.
  2. The executive order, signed at 11:47 PM, EDT on March 31, 2008, is retroactive. To take care of the extra days in February that were not observed because they didn’t exist, March of this year gets two extra days. The President has called them “Flashback days,” since they fill in missing gaps in the calendar that would have already taken place. Today, instead of being April 1st is March 32nd to make up for February 30th. Tomorrow will be March 33, to account for February 31st. Next year, February will only have 30 days. February will not have 31 days again until 2012.
  3. What is April 3 on your calendar this year will be deemed a national “no school day” from here on out. Most private, charter, and home schools are exempted from this school holiday. This April 3 is, due to the executive order, really April 1, commonly known as April Fool’s Day. In signing the executive order to give mostly public school children across the country the day off, the President noted that No Child Left Behind has been viewed by many, conservative and liberal alike, as a joke due to the bureaucratic red-tape that it created. Additionally, the President figured since many hold to there being a separation of Church and State, and God is hardly given any recognition in the public schools, April 1 would be a good day for the schools to have as a holiday.

I know. I was shocked when I read the news too. But, I have to wish you all a happy April Fool’s Day somehow!!!!  Read more on this fun day at Snopes.com (really).

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